Frida Kahlo really said "My Body >>>"

 

Nicole Chikwe once asked a room full of young women, I inclusive, if anyone wanted to volunteer to list five things they loved about their bodies and why. My hand shot up faster than Hermione in Mcgonagall's class. For some reason, I had heard 'wrong' rather than 'loved' and assumed the request was for '5 things wrong with your body'. 

I stood up and yelled the one thing that irked me above all "my knees!".

Everyone laughed when I was told what the question really was. I had to pause and think before opening my big mouth again. Then Nicole said something I'd never thought about "it's very easy for us to mention all the things we hate about our bodies, but we hardly ever focus on the things that are positive about it, why not?" 

On the 6th of July, Frida Kahlo, one of history's most valued artists, would have been 114; but her body gave up before she could clock 50. Frida had an extremely broken body. 

First, polio made her right leg useless as a child, then in her teens, a vehicle collision sent a metal beam through her body shattering her spine, hip and right leg. Can you imagine the pain?

Frida had to stay flat on the bed for most of her life, but interestingly, it was in this position she connected with the love of her life--painting. And the glorious part? She was her own muse.

Frida produced masterpiece after masterpiece of self-portraits. She was a Mexican woman with strong features, but what was most unique about her face was her unibrow. Yep! She had a fuzzy strip of hair connecting her two brows, and a light moustache sitting nicely on her upper lip.

Frida Kahlo, Self-Portrait | Source: fridakahlo.org

The crazy thing about this woman is she ACCENTUATED both of these in all her self-portraits. It was so easy to get rid of them, but she didn't. She could have easily excluded them from her paintings, but again, she didn't. You would think a woman who had so many physical limitations would try to 'perfect' the one part of her body she had the most control over. Que estupendo!

I can not begin to tell you how incredibly astounding her self-acceptance was. She made herself the standard of beauty for herself. Her words: I am my own muse. The subject I know best. The subject I want to know better.

History has always been full of beauty standards that women use as the battleground to wage war on their bodies. New beauty trends can be the EXACT opposite of previous ones but still hold strong. But, in millennial language, Frida really said "my body >>>>>" 

Want to know something interesting? At one time in Greece, unibrows were seen as the height of attractiveness. It was such a powerful symbol of femininity that women would actually draw a line between their eyebrows, so they could have what genetics gave Frida for free.

We talk and hear a lot about body positivity these days, and I find it very amusing when the message is always "accept your imperfections". But, in the end, the entire movement really seems like a consolation party for not having the culturally prescribed 'perfect body'. And it's extremely amusing when women like this Instagram model, Sophia Pantelli, who rocks a bold unibrow, shout 'body positivity!' When the medical enhancements they've had are even visible to the blind.

My response to Nicole's question that day was "my eyes-they're big, pretty and remind me of my grandma; my lips are full and I love them; my afro, I love how the texture feels; my body shape, because it's easy to dress; and my melanin!"

It genuinely made me happy that day to realise what I was saying was true. I really do adore these parts of me. Nicole helped me begin a journey I'm grateful for, and Frida was just the signpost I needed to realise I'm going in the right direction.

I have truly come to love my body, even the things I always got teased about. Now, it all just seems so logical to me. I gain weight? Yay curves! I lose weight? Haha, more clothes fit! The variation that used to be a headache doesn't even matter to me anymore. I'm healthy, so why should it bother me?

The amusing thing is, it's other people that seem to have the most problem with it. It is questionable behaviour to many that I choose to wear my OWN hair most of the time. And Instagram has never once eased up on advertisements for 'boobs, hips and butt' oils that claim to turn twigs into Kim Kardashian. 

Unfortunately for marketing, I have truly chosen to be the standard of beauty for myself, and I'm glad I have a celebrated artist on my side.

How about you?

- Esohe Ewaenosa Iyare

P.s: I'd like to thank Ross, who reached out to me on Twitter to ask why I haven't posted in a while. It means so much to me that you value my writing. This one is dedicated to you.

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